Friday, 22 October 2010

The Dangling Conversation

‘Aha! I knew I’d find it somewhere. It was stuck in amongst the kinks in that old bit of carpet. Can’t really remember when I lost it, it’s all a bit of a blur now. It must’ve been one of those Sundays I was making a wedding present for the family up the road.’

‘What are you wittering about, woman?’

‘My sewing needle! I lost it months ago. You know, I told you just after him next door had his massive attack. How that doctor and the medics got him out past his caravan, I’ll never know. What a squeeze and him with a dickey heart. Mind you, his wife’s not much better. She had to go to Lourdes for the cure last year after her primal scream therapy failed. Anyway, I must get on. The cleaning all needs doing.’

‘What? Again? Anyone’d think the Queen was coming.’

‘And another thing. I need a proper washing machine. That toploader has just about had it. Do you know it leaks so badly the kitchen looks like an oasis half the time? All it needs is a camel.

‘It’s no good you screaming. Trees don’t yield money you know. Anyway, I can’t listen to you all day. What’s on the wireless?’

‘Dunno. But you’d better turn it on now. It takes so long to warm up, you’d think it was human…’

‘…League Division Two. Stockport County one, Barnet nil…’

‘It’s the bloody football results, oh joy…’

‘…Division One. Portishead Town six…’

‘I can’t listen to this. Who’s interested in a minor south-western league clash? What’s for tea?’

‘Scones, cranberries and cream.’

‘Again? You’d never get that garbage at my Holly’s.’

‘Yes, but then you’d have to put up with that grandson of yours.’

‘Kevin’s not such bad company. What’s he been up to now?’

‘Well, there was a bit of an incident at the pet shop. Boys will be boys, you know, but they should never have called the police. I know eagles don’t come free but I’m sure the wings will grow back in time. Of course, Kevin’s been a bit sensitive after his dad spilt tea on that igloo he made out of sugar cubes. All of a pulp, it was. And that girl of his, you know, blondie, gave him the elbow. Poor boy!’

‘Huh! Can’t imagine what the youth of today think they’re up to. Walking around like zombies on ecstasy and nattering about pop music. Complete madness! Wouldn’t have happened in my day…’


Jayne said...

I thought this post was excellent! I got 26 band names, but have the feeling I missed plenty!

music obsessive said...

Jayne - congratulations! You are the only person to twig the significance of this post (or has bothered to comment, which may or may not be the same thing). I think I rather lost my audience with this one and I can just hear them mumbling, 'Poor old boy, he's completely lost it'.

Well done for spotting 26 references - if you look again you should find nearer to 40! I'll send you a cribsheet as a prize!

Jayne said...

Thank you for awarding me the answers! But before I open them I am going to have one last go... let's see how I do:

The Kinks
Wedding Present
Massive Attack
Doctor and the Medics
Caravan (am guessing)
Squeeze (seeing them soon!)
The Cure
Primal Scream
Clash (The)
Cranberries (The)
Holly's (The) sp
Bad Company (guessing)
Pet Shop Boys
The Police
Eagles (The)
Sugar Cubes
Zombies (The)

30 this time! Although I think I am missing some - sewing needle seems a bit random, as does the trees don't yield money paragraph. Will go see how I did... :)

music obsessive said...

Jayne - cracking effort! (Blimey, I'm sounding like Wallace now) As you will know by now, you got all these right and didn't miss too many. All those years writing for music mags obviously left you well educated.

If anyone else wants to have a go at beating this total, I'll reveal the remaining answers. Otherwise I declare Jayne the winner!